By Laura Libert, August 2008

I’m constantly on the lookout for new column ideas. I find nowadays that a lot of them are less superficial than they once were and delve deeper into the realm of human interaction. Whenever I think I’ve hit the bottom of the pot, someone points me toward previously unearthed material. 

This time, it resulted in musings on the relationship between the sexes, including “just lust” and relationships. Before I go further I have a confession, this topic goes a little beyond my level of familiarity. I’m a shy girl, and though I’ve had significant others, (a scant two) I would claim my degree of expertise minimal at best. The following insights resulted from countless questions and relentless badgering of my colleagues more experienced in matters of the heart.

Sometimes I feel like this environment breeds sexual tension.  Maybe it’s the adrenaline rushes, the service of couples, the romantic lighting. I can’t pinpoint the exact cause, but it can affect everyone from the budding single girl ready to flirt, to the quintessential playboy with that indistinguishable sexual attraction, to the quiet server’s assistant who transforms once they head to the bar. A common side effect to the surging hormones, “office” hookups abound in every nook and cranny you can imagine (a little bangin’ in the walk-in perhaps?) One ballsy coworker dared admit two hookups at the same job, a risky endeavor, which was not juggled well. It appears that singledom reigns over commitment as the preferred state of affairs, and I wonder why. I mean, surely you get lonely, tired of the game? I guess it depends on the kind of ease you’re looking for. For some, managing the balance between work and play is too much hassle, and it’s not like you’re deprived of everything a relationship offers. At least for the guys, there is a longstanding belief that the restaurant business breeds horny chicks, to put it in their words. In general, it’s just simpler to be single. On the rare occasion a hookup continues or goes further, collective experience has informed me that trouble often brews.

Some words of wisdom from one of the grill guys, “Ya know, I’ve hooked up with people from work before, and in the end, someone’s gotta be the better person and walk away.”

I imagine backing out is not only awkward as hell, but feels like it’s put on public display. Nothing that juicy stays a secret for long.

I personally go beyond the status-quo on this one: I met my current boyfriend through work, TADA! Being both Gainesville locals and within two years of age, it seemed quite extraordinary that we had never met before. (You can’t deny that small town, everybody-knows-your-name feel to the ‘ville). Regardless of my giggly bliss, the logical sensors in my brain flashed warningly, and I anxiously wondered how it could bode well to date someone I worked with. In the end, I went with my heart, and two years later, we still work (and now live) together. I’m happy with my choice, and I can’t deny that having a similar schedule can make things a lot easier. 

But what about those who won’t dip their nib in the office ink? Most of the line guys have steady girls, and I wondered how they juggled their ladies and their jobs. With an occupation demanding nights, weekends and holidays, I figured major snags would arise with conflicting schedules (agendas?) between the two. How do you find time for each other? I discovered that opposing schedules made finding time for each other a priority, not a side note. Date nights are all the more special while affection shown becomes more sincere. Those moments of half-asleep kisses goodbye in the morning and hello hugs late at night are truly cherished.

Single or not, there’s no denying the cathartic ambiance of the kitchen itself. It’s like our own open forum, where you can seek advice about relationship problems or just complain about the opposite sex… or how horny you are. There’s the unspoken rule of the zippered lip. Provide advice if they ask for it or just listen. It’s the perfect place to release your frustrations over lost loves or the occasional futile pursuit of companionship.

Occasionally, if you’re lucky, “you can get your feelings out without anyone even listening!” (In the words of a fellow line mate). You’d be surprised what a pleasant anonymity it provides… and protection against blackmail.